Who is to Blame?
Ever wonder does forgiveness is really the cure? The cure of our unsatisfactory in life. Mostly, it’s either due to unpredicted tragedy or wasted opportunities. Personally, I don’t believe there’s 100% cure for other things, or simply a pure positive compared to pure negative. Everything has its trade-off, and everything is moderately a combination of negative and positive, and even undefined things.
This question starts when I was reading ‘Tyrant of the Tower Defense Game’, a korean manhwa. One Lord through a harsh dilemma to choose between leading his city when the monsters attack or back to save his wife, at his home. As a generational lord and the front of the human wall defence, he must choose to lead his city. His decision costs the life of his wife, and because of it, his daughter decides to leave him due to his decision.
Several years later, his daughter went back to the fortress city and met the New Lord. Long story short, the New Lord that already knows the story and communicates with her the Old Lord, asks to forgive her late father. She can’t, despite the fact that she understands the reason for its father’s decision.
She can’t forgive him, she is afraid and distressed how she can express her sadness and unworthiness of the past event if it cannot be toward her father. She can blame it to herself, and ‘No one to blame, it’s a tragedy’ cannot solve her unsatisfied feeling.
This story sparks me a question ‘Who is to blame then?’. Through life, we experience a lot of undelightful events and when it happens we unconsciously ask ourselves ‘Who is to blame?. It puts us in a really hard dilemma.
- Blame ourself? People said that to be ‘happy’ is to love yourself, to forgive yourself, don’t be so hard on yourself. But in reality, to be consciously keeping ourselves accountable is the same as to harm ourselves, to some extent. So it’s not an easy solution for all the people, and some of the time we truly are just the victim.
- Blame the situation? This is one of the most popular ones, but it is rarely the root of the problem or why the event begins. Confirmation bias
- Blame God? In the human logical realm, it arguably can be considered as God’s fault, because everything that happens in this world is in God’s palm. But, in the religious society, it can be seen as a practice of radicalism or blasphemy.
- Blame Others? This is really a practical defense mechanism for a lot of people, even me. It is really easy to blame others, especially if they’re someone who has great leadership (even if it’s really not their fault in the first place).
It is a very human thing, and cannot be overgeneralized to all the phenomena and people. But, at least the efforts to become more aware of it, can make our future decision more acceptable.
